Friday, October 7, 2011

The blame game. Yes we all do it. We find ourselves struggling to accept, understand and love ourselves and we look for the persons or things responsible for the reason that we think we can’t love ourselves. We blame our mothers, fathers, siblings, mean kids, older family members, our dog, the doctor..WHOEVER we can find to lay the blame for our internal nightmare. We do this innocently, you see when the suffering gets too great, and the mind can only take so much, there is an automatic switch to find some kind of relief, and the blame game is the beginning of that relief. It can lead to obsessions and addictions, again all innocent ways of finding relief from the pain and suffering we experience. In every situation that we choose to use as a scape goat for our pain we know that somewhere, no matter how horrific the memory is, no matter how terrible someone was to us, we know, that in some nanosecond of time we had a choice, either on how to react or in the meaning we would give the memory in the very next moment. In every moment there is responsibility for our choices of how we will perceive ours and others actions. And when we realize that we have and have had even the slightest bit of choice in any given situation, we are set free of the blame game..only completely. We have innocently used the blame game to gain some sense of relief, it has been a true and trusted friend for most of us, for years. It is a friend worth letting go of. When we blame others we cause a fundamental separation from what we really are..love, and that causes the suffering and pain we call ‘not loving ourselves’ which is really..are you ready for it??? ‘Not loving OTHERS’. When we deny anyone our love by blaming them for uhem..not loving us the way the should have or not supporting us in the way we wanted them to then we are not loving them the way we were made to love or supporting them in ANY way. And that, my loves, is what causes OUR suffering, we break from the core of who and what we are when we blame anyone for any of our suffering. By holding on to blame we prevent ourselves from living our happiness, our grace, our peace, our desires. Blame is the single enormous mountain keeping you from what you really are.(and of course blame is another word for fear, something to think about!) To begin to leave the blame game all we have to do is start today to take steps toward complete self responsibility, seeing where we made choices that affected the rest of our lives, how WE choose to perceive things, how we shut ourselves out and went into protection mode when we perceived ourselves to be threatened in anyway. WE built this fortress that we chose to live in, it is up to us to tear it down. What if we made a list of all the people and things that we blame for our current situation and then sat down with that list and got radically honest with ourselves about what really happened OR how those we blame helped us to see something we would not otherwise have seen or showed us through experience how to really LOVE others? What if we began to see those people as the gifts that they are to us and then really began to meet ourselves with understanding…acceptance..love? Exiting the blame game is the greatest gift we could ever give ourselves.

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