only THIS very moment exists....

Imagine if you could not remember yesterday..imagine if you could not visualize the future...where would you be?

You would be right here, right now..in this very moment...what will this moment be for you?  If you cannot access the past or the future what kinds of possibilities are open to you?  How much more are you able to just be..to see what is right in front of you...to enjoy without thoughts of what was or what will be?  It is exciting isn't it? 

Finding moments to just be with no past or future opens the opportunity of now, which is all that really..truely exists anyway.

from my heart to yours....

My wisdom..she comes once a month..and leads the way..

Wisdom...so I will be getting a little personal here with you beautiful women..and the few men brave enough to enter ;).

I have decided to call the BIG red event of my monthly cycle...my WISDOM. Not my rag or my aunt or my period or my you-know-what(sorta like he-who-must-not-be-named in Harry Potter?) not my flo..unless it is my flo of wisdom. This event that happens in my life and that of most every other woman on the planet once a month for years of our lives is so unfortunately misunderstood in western culture.

It is a time when our bodies so naturally call out for quiet and solitude, not because it is something dirty or wrong or strange..instead it is a time for inner reflection and listening. I watch women all around me and many times myself run around acting like their wisdom is not happening..some even taking their birth control pills in such a was as not to have them at all. Going through those few days as if it is not there. And what happens? Headaches, bitchiness, feelings of isolation and that noone understands us, respects us, soothes us, love us, general sadness, depression and unexplained anger. Are these not all signs..gently whispering..take a step back, listen to me, rest, reflect, love me, nurture me, FEEL me..which are mostly ingnored and in turn create 'symptoms' of a DIS-ease many call PMS!

For me, PMS is a signal that I am not LISTENING, that I am not taking care or even remotely nurturing myself and while, during the rest of the month, I can seemingly get away with not doing those things for myself..when my wisdom comes she speaks loudly to the depths of my soul..waiting patiently for me to hear her. She KNOWS so much. And she has a power that is left many months untapped and underappreciated only to return with patience and wait to be heard.

I morn for those of us that do not see our wisdoms for what they are. A cleansing, a rejuvination, a life energy in renewal, a blessing, a glorious adventure bringing us closer to ourselves each time, a healthy phase, access to a wisdom we carry with us always that bubbles up and reveals itself so clearly if we choose to see it.

So I am relating to my wonderful time of the month as my wisdom, my glorious guide to the depth of who I really am.

From my heart to yours...

releasing the unsaid....

When we begin to question our thoughts, when we are asked to look at the way in which we speak to ourselves it can mean uncomfortable...damn uncomfortable internal observations. It is the little or not so little ugly thoughts that bounce around in our heads on replay all day long that capture our excitement and cause us to feel defeated before we have given ourselves a chance..and it usually all begins with the opening of our eyes. When we begin to really look at the thoughts that hold us back from joy, happiness, contentment..from actually LIVING, we are at the beginning of a new future both for ourselves and those around us.

It is during conversations, that which is not said but perhaps implied that does the most damage. The dreaded unsaid, the elephant in the room..those are our thoughts that we do not speak out loud but ROAR instead in our thoughts. To begin to purge ourselves of these thoughts..I am not good enough, I am fat, I am ugly, I never spend enough time with my children , spouse, dog, I eat too much, I should to this or I should to that or..THEY should do this or that or be this way or that way, etc., we have to name them, say them out loud perferably with someone else as a witness..even better..the person we have these thoughts about.

Dealing with ourselves only here is an example.

Petey: You are so beautiful, I love you!!

Candy: you are crazy, what do you want!!(unsaid thought, I am not good enough, he could not possibly love me, there must be something wrong with him too.)

Candy: Could you take out the trash?

Petey: You are such a nag, I'll do it in a minute. (unsaid thought, crap she told me to do it before but I forgot..I am such a failure, I can never admit it so I have blame her for nagging me because it is too painful to admit I failed her.)

In both instances it is an internal ugly dialogue with oneself that causes a shifting of blame onto someone else so that we don't have to deal with the UNSAID thoughts and feelings, but they are there as loud a clear as if we have shouted them with a blow horn. When the thoughts are actually ABOUT someone else it is even more intersting.

If we have the thought my spouse is a lazy butthole, how then do we interact with said spouse? If we have the thought my partner is the most amazing, caring, wonderful person on earth, will we interact with them on a different level..and when we have BOTH thoughts about the same person, even simultaneously...WATCH out..craziness is on its way. Yet how often does this occur within us?

If we could say to said spouse, when you didn't take out the trash after the fifth time I asked you I really felt like you let me down, I was really waiting for you to step up and take out the trash, then when you did not I felt like I did not matter to you so then I took it out to show you I could do in on my own, which then gave me the feeling of being all alone and I began to think that you are a lazy butthole...when I was little I had to do all the chores, more than my brother and the feelings that came up were the same kinds of feelings I had as a small girl. It was weird...and I realize now that my feelings had nothing to do with you or the trash and everything to do with my past. Now..wouldn't that be profound..the implications are stunning.

Sometimes during our journey here on earth we will absolutely need to express the unsaid in order to create a new possibility, to rewrite our futures we have to complete the past with honesty and integrity.

From my heart to yours...

a step toward loving yourself...

BE STILL.   When we take moments every day to be still and listen, listen to that spark of the divine that is within us, we nourish ourselves in every way.  When we stop, truely stop doing anything and sit in stillness we are open to the guidance that we so deeply strive for.  All the answers we want lie within us, if something wonderful we read, hear or see resonates with us it is because it is true within us as well.

When we sit in stillness there is no agenda other than being still and listening..drop into the stillness and WAIT, that is all.  Sit with the thoughts that you are having and listen to the honesty within them, if the thoughts are ugly ask if they are true, ask who would I be without this thought?  When we have something that is hard to face it is really time to get still and listen, what is it that we really need, right now?  honesty? love? quiet?  All that we need is within us, when we take time to sit in stillness we will find all the answers we seek.  We will begin to trust ourselves, to honor ourselves, and to love what we are capable of, we will find kindness for ourselves and others, we will find strength in knowing that we are complete and the life we desire is within us, every moment.  We will fall into being who we really are, we will begin to shine our light brighter and brighter.  Some of us will become more open and outgoing  others will become more queit and reflective.  When we sit in stillness and listen everyday we will begin to open the door to knowing AND loving who we are. 


We all deserve happiness and joyful lives, we have only to give ourselvers permission, begin by being still...listening and finding kindness within.


From my heart to yours.....

Ugly mean ole thoughts...kick them to the curb...

Lets talk about our internal dialogue..but first...ALL very small children LOVE themselves immensely(before they learn mean thinking and self sabotage from adults). This is the time in life where singing in front of the mirror is COMFORTABLE and natural. Making faces and dancing around for no apparent reason is common place. Being NAKED is a time of joy and freedom. Spontaneously telling yourself 'you are great' 'you are the best' and 'I love Fred and Susie and Mommy and MEEEEEEE!!' is inherent. This is a time when we do not question who we are, why we are here or if we are important, we already know the answer to all of them, that we are great, we are special and we are soo soo very important and love flows to and from us freely.

• Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. --Paula Poundstone

Lets just say that if you had it once you CAN have it again. That certainty of having love and being great is within each of us, all the time. We have had it before. Which basically means that we can find it again as long as we are willing to look for it, claim it and be it again.

So as adults, we have created other 'interesting' and demeaning thoughts that we believe are unique to us only..as in noone else feels this bad about themselves, others are so much more confident than me, only I am feeling like crap about myself, others have their lives together, others are more successful, I am a loser, I am ugly, I am not good enough, I should be different, I should look different, I am nothing special, I have major issues, the list of ugly mean thinking is wide and varied and I haven't mentioned the really ugly stuff but I am sure that we can all relate and know what it is that we say to ourselves that is just down right mean and dirty. Now, most people keep these devious thoughts to themselves but IF they are so FULL of them that they are on the floor of misery it will spill over and they will say these thoughts out loud and to others but it really is just a REFLECTION of their internal dialogue. The thing is these thoughts are far from unique and they are shared by every human being on this PLANET..every single one, because they all stem from the primary fears of every person which are 'I am not enough' and 'I am not worthy of love', all mean and ugly thoughts are just versions and variations of these fears. The difference is how we react to these thoughts and if we ACCEPT THEM AS TRUE. That is right these are THOUGHTS and they are only true if we BELIEVE them. If we accept them as true our brain and nervious system accept them as true..so if we are constantly repeating a thought such as 'I have the ugliest nose' well then damit your brain is going to look for proof of this statement wherever it can. If you repeat a thought such as 'I am a loving person' your brain will do the same. Which one FEELS better?

We often think it is easier to stay in old mean patterns because over time we have come to be comfortable in that dank and dark place, we have come to call it home. Who the hell WANTS to live there?? Noone thats who. That is why we strive to change, to find meaning, to be free. No matter who you are you are questioning always, somewhere deep inside of you, you KNOW that you deserve better, you KNOW that you are special, you KNOW that life is meant to be enjoyed fully and with delight. The thoughts that we have come to believe hold on for dear life, they scratch and claw at the depth of who we are because we have allowed those thoughts so much space there is hardly room for wonderful ones.

The difference between those who succeed with their goals, whatever they may be and those that stay trapped by their mean dirty ole thoughts is that those that achieve(and we ALL have achieved goals in our lives in some area..start thinking of all the things that you HAVE accomplished, NOW, it could change your life..in those accomplishments, ones that you have already created, lies the answer to future success) their goals start by overriding the dank and dark place and CREATING a new and exciting alternative. This does not mean that those thoughts disappear never to rain their ugly heads again, no no, it means that they choose to not accept those thoughts as true, when their fears(thoughts) creep up, they do not give up, they double their efforts to maintain thoughts that will take them in the direction of their goals. Here is a secret, the brain does not know the difference between a memory and our imagination, if you IMAGINE your future goal completed in every aspect(how it feels, tastes, smells, what it looks like, colors, sound, lighting) the more detail the better, our brain will to whatever it take to reach that goal because it believes that it has already happened and it WANTS those feelings of greatness, more than anything else.

Now, how do we take the first steps in what thoughts to believe and not to believe? Most of us will have to come up with positive altenatives so here is a way to begin.

Lets say you have a negative thought such as 'I never accomplish anything', the first step is to ask yourself 'is it true?', most likely it is NOT, never? Hardly possible. Now give yourself examples of where you have accomplished things(I finished high school, I have a great career, I gave birth, I am finishing my phd, I keep a neat house, I, my spouse and my children are all alive at the end of the day, etc) then change the statement into 'I can accomplish anything' and give the same examples from above.

Begin questioning your thoughts, are they TRUE? Are they NECESSARY? Are they KIND? Do not get side tracked buy why you have them..just question are they true, necessary and kind. Do the exercise from above for 15 min, then think about your goal, your future again and make it as bright and big as possible...if you want another baby, IMAGINE it intensely, if you want to lose weight, IMAGINE your ideal body in intensely, if you want to change careers then IMAGINE your outcome in all its glory.

Food for thought..too complicated? Start talking to yourself as if you were someone you REALLY loved, your children, your partner, your animals. When a mean thought arises ask yourself would I treat them this way? And answer with the response you would give to the ones you love the most.

from my heart to yours..

Recommendations that might very well CHANGE your life...

So, if you are a person who is struggling deeply with your body image this book:

www.thegabrielmethod.com

is FANTASTIC!!  Wether you want to lose weight, gain weight, let go of stress, understand your biochemistry, and feel more at peace with yourself..this book will help you do all of these things.  If everyone had this book, I would be out of my personal training job in no time...fabulous if you ask me.  I love products, books, programs that encourage people to do the work from the inside out.  The beauty about his method is there is a ton of visualization which is so incredibly powerful and there are cds that you listen to that tap into the deeper you.  Truely magical stuff...if you are ready for an adventure of the deepest, sweetest, quietest kind give it a look..you will not be sorry..and for under 20 dollars..pennies for great riches in return!!


THE most important health tip EVER:(this is by far one of the most incredible health for life habits to establish, I want to SCREAM it from the roof tops!)

HYDRATE!!!!!  That means drink enough water..period.  But that is not all, you must do it in a very particular way in order to get its true benefits.  Every 2-3 hours you take a small pinch of himalyan or unprocessed sea salt on your tongue, let it sit there for a minute or two and then proceed to drink one to two cups(250ml-500ml) of water.  If you drink all this water without the salt you will be peeing like a maniac(well for the first two weeks you will be anyway but after that it will all even out and you will get used to it) and not benefitting from the water..it will go right through you taking vital minerals with it.  Taking the salt with the water allows all the fresh water you are drinking to enter into the salt water 'ocean' of your body where all the really important hydration and heathly chemical reactions and creations occur.  Drinking only water does not allow for optimal hydration..the salt is KEY!!(this salt has nothing to do with dietary salt)  More info?

www.watercure.com



From my heart to yours....

Sometimes..I mean really....

Do you ever get to a point where you are doing it ALL and then you just STOP.  And then you wonder what do I do now..if I am just still for one moment..will the sky fall in..what do I do with my thoughts?  How do I just be, how do I stop doing the doing and start BEING as in human BEING not human DOING?  Is this a womens issue or do men do it too..go go go go go..never stop because then you might actually have to FEEL, or worse SEE things for how they REALLY are....magnificent and whole and great even when you don't DO everything, even when you aren't the one and only laundry goddess out there or the most important of important child minder, or the most sought after childrens dinner maker, because those THINGS are just a way for you to have problems and things to be caught up in instead of living a wonderful life...I mean..could you live without underwear for awhile? Or eat fruit for dinner? Or let the kids run wild?  I think you could..yes I do and I think it might even be really freeing..you could even get everyone to wash their underwear in the sink..when they needed new ones..imagine how much time that would free up for you to ENJOY yourself..oh the possibilites!!

Life is for ENJOYING not just getting through..how do we forget this??

from my heart to yours...